Credulous Parochials!

If a liberal city-slicker chooses to lead an innocent city dweller with strong parochial and rabid religious feelings down the garden path, it is amusing how easily he can be fooled, especially if the bait chosen is something that stirs up strong emotions – like language or patriotism. The victim is willing to swallow the whole thing hook, line and sinker (thanks Vasu!).

I happened to be seated with Vikram Trivedi, a migrant to Bangalore from Roorkee, in Koshy’s Restaurant, Bangalore one evening. As the conversation rolled on, it turned to what in common Indian parlance is referred to as ‘Co-brother’. His Co-brother’s sister had supposedly moved from Florida to Baltimore…

And that was when I decided to intervene.

“You would be interested to know how that town got its name!” I remarked casually.

“Well, actually, it so happened that a large Brahmin family had moved to certain settlements in Washington just after America decided to launch its war of independence!” I spoke on, adding “they had in fact boarded an English vessel that set sail from Calcutta, chiefly intending to settle in the Carribean Islands.”

“Really?” asks Trivedi.

“Before they were to arrive in the Carribeans, the Head of the family - a man called Gokul Nath Sharma - heard about greener pastures in the Americas…” I went on hoodwinking him, “and one thing led to another and it was the first Indian family that was to settle in what is now known as Washington!”

My friend felt quite thrilled about a first ‘Brahmin’ family in the U.S. of A and that too from near his own hometown!

“Later, as the Governor Sutcliffe decided to move out of Washington and into strange territory, the large group of settlers that included this large Brahmin family migrated and established a settlement in what is now Maryland”.

“The settlers would rely for their supplies on travelers who used to move inward from the coast, and who would transport imported items fetched from overseas.”

“And this large Brahmin family with its orthodox Hindu practices felt a strong need for many buckets to attend to their daily ablutions.”

“Not being very familiar with the English word ‘bucket’ he used the Hindi word for it and asked the Governor to get more of them from the coast!”

“One thing led to another, and due to garbled communication and various confusions associated with the Hindi word for ‘bucket’, and in seeking the destination for the consignment the town came to be called ‘Baltimore’!”

“Achcha? I didn’t know that! Chalo! Apna Hindi padh se ek American shehar ka naam to huaa!” exclaimed my friend in exultation and swelling with Hindu pride!

xxx