ARSHAD AND RAHIL.

DO WE REALLY SIDE WITH THE UNDERDOG?

All of us would like to convince ourselves that we side with the underdog. But do we? It is my experience that the underdog is more likely to get your sympathy or pity if you would like to have it that way, but it is more likely that the party that is more likely to win that would actually get the support. Though many of us would like to convince ourselves that we stand for the truth, I have profound doubts about this. People would prefer to say ‘We won!’ People would love to say ‘They lost!’ And in this basic instinct of wishing to be with the winners that you find that what is more popular is likely to get support, and in a prophecy fulfilling way, result in an actual victory for the unjust, the powerful, the corrupt, or the more visually attractive, appealing and seductive in contrast with what could possibly stand for the truth.

If you have been a smoker, and if you have been an underling, it is more likely that you would be told rather brusquely – ‘Please don’t smoke here’, while you would have seen the very same hosts being rather circumspect about telling another smoker at a different time the very same thing, especially if he appears clearly successful and imposing.

Take the attitude of Indian women to Indian men. I recall an incident that happened in Buffalo many years ago. I was lucky to meet two Indian Muslims at the New York YMCA, when I had been to visit the U.S. in 1984. The two – Arshad and Rahil, were brothers who were then living in Torrence, CA and had migrated to the U.S. a few years before, after their petrol bunk was torched by a certain political faction in Bombay. As I ventured out of my room to take the elevator to the ground floor, I happened to meet these two near the lift. They gave a warm smile and we introduced ourselves. New York was a dangerous place those days, and I suggested to them that we stick around with each other as we traverse the city (specially after dark) as there was safety in numbers. It was a very warm association that I had with them and I was amazed at their total lack of bitterness towards India despite a terrible traumatic experience their family had.

After my stint in New York it was time for me to move to Connecticut. They had planned to visit Atlantic City and later travel to Boston (which necessitated them to pass through Connecticut) and thence to Canada by renting a car and driving around. After we parted cordially, and after about three or four days when I was at my cousin’s house in Orange, Connecticut, I was surprised to get a call from the brothers. They told me that they were heading to Toronto and asked me if I was keen to go with them. They were exceedingly generous to spare me from sharing the costs of the car and petrol and the room rents (“We realize you are not an NRI and you won’t have enough money!”) and told me that I would only have to pay for my food. I was only too keen to accept the offer and left with them with Toronto as our destination.

There was a problem. I did not have a visa for Canada and to visit Toronto I would have to get one from Buffalo. We were heading for Niagara Falls, but the brothers, generous as they were, drove all the way to Buffalo and spent considerable time at the consulate in trying to ensure that I get a temporary visa for Canada.

As I was standing in the queue and as I approached the counter, I heard the official ask the lady ahead of me, “Where was this passport issued in India?”  And the lady replied “Bangalore”.  Being from Bangalore, I suddenly perked up and asked the lady ahead of me “Are you from Bangalore?”  She turned back, and on seeing me, gave such a cold stare that left me surprised. The two friends who were standing some distance away looked at me and made a sign nodding their heads. Later, after finishing my work, when I went to them they cautioned “Deepak! Don’t ever speak to an Indian woman in the U.S.!”

“But I would have done the same thing even if the person who was ahead of me was a man from Bangalore!” I told them somewhat hurt. Yeah, it was a lesson. The trouble is I’ve had several such lessons and I never seem to learn. Some strange spirit urges me along and I get rebuffed repeatedly.

When I related this story to my sister, she remarked “But Deepak, Indian men are such dorks!”  That could be true. But how different are the white foreigners from Indian men (let me not of course consider blacks!). A cousin of mine who had been to France on a study programme of about a year or two returned with a clear knowledge of how keen they are to lead you to bed. As a consequence she developed a strong dislike for the French. So we have a tragic situation where Indian women dislike Indian men and White women have a similar contempt.  The suspicious question that must plague any Indian man is - are you really comfortable if a black woman with all her heart truly would love you and respect you for what you are? Or would you reject her love? Just the way a Hindu would refuse to believe that two Muslim brothers (Arshad and Rahil) went out of their way to help an Indian Hindu – this, despite having moved out of India because their petrol bunk in Bombay had been torched?

xxx

p.s. When I related this story to a Hindu friend recently (May 2010), he asked "How do you know it is really true that their petrol bunk was torched?"


I don't know why I'm doing this but since I feel emotions are better at guiding us in certaain crucial things and is better than reason, I give a link to a TED Talk where the speaker (David Brooks) argues along similar lines:

http://www.ted.com/talks/david_brooks_the_social_animal.html


                                                                               xxx

Humane Sentiments and the conversion of a dog to a serial killer!

This is a true story which I cannot classify. Is it tragic? Or is it ridiculous? Or is it Absurd? But it is something that makes me shiver. Have some of us been unlucky to have undergone something very similar?

The story relates to an incident that happened at Roorkee. I have a good friend who was a student of the Roorkee University which had a school of engineering that was quite reputed. The geology department of Roorkee was quite a competent school for earth science, and this friend of mine was a research scholar working for a Ph.D. there. We happened to be tent-mates at a GSI Training camp at Chittorgarh, Rajasthan, and I was sent there from Delhi University for training. In the biting cold of Rajasthan winter nights, with the tent being lit by a dim hurricane lantern, both of us would spend many moments in the tent recounting stories and that is how I heard this one.

The Roorkee University has a fairly large students hostel which I was lucky to visit later. My friend told me wistfully of the camaraderie that existed there, specially recounting affectionately, the intense warmth that results between inmates after a period of ragging by the seniors. Freshers are given an intimate knowledge about ‘table manners’ – on how to dine with a knife and fork, courtesies, manners, the polish that one has to acquire, especially so if one happens to be a rustic from the surrounding countryside without such exposure. When I visited that place, the inmates were certainly a happy lot and quite amicable with each other.

It seems the hostel campus which was quite sprawling, had a happy, mischievous, perky female dog that was very friendly and popular with the inmates. Many of them would adore her and feed her affectionately with juicy tit-bits from the hostel mess. She used to scamper around lazily and was only too eager to be petted and fondled and had an innocence of what humans around her expected. She was friendly, happy and of course well-fed and secure. The students too had a great regard for her and viewed her as a picture of innocence - a clean spirit, without the cunningness, malice and other instincts that are so common with the human species. This went on - the female dog and the students, living in a symbiotic ethical and moral inter-feeding.

One day the students found that disaster had struck. The female dog was found to have mated and locked up sexually with a mongrel. The feelings of the students were outraged. They all assembled with lathis and sticks and patiently waited for the act to end. After an interminable period, when the two dogs finally separated, the male dog was given such a severe beating with sticks that it collapsed feebly under the assault, yet conscious and alive. My friend told me that it later recovered, slowly gathered itself up and vanished from the scene.

After some months the female dog gave birth to a brood of sprightly puppies and the students were quite thrilled. The bonnie puppies would fondly play with the mother, and were a source of entertainment to the students. A few days later, the students found that one of the puppies was savagely attacked and mangled and torn to shreds. And a few days later yet another one. When it was happening the third time, the students noticed that the culprit was the male dog that was attacked and beaten severely by the students. This time the dog was too clever and skillfully managed an escape without receiving a single blow. Then it returned again and yet again and finished off the whole brood. The female dog, my friend told me, gradually withered away due to the death of its brood and slowly expired! So we have the story of a serial-killer dog!

My next entry will again be about human-animal interaction but I promise it to be rather hilarious one in contrast to this somber story!

xxx

Some Witty Sayings (From IFFERISMS by Dr. Mardy Groethe

1. If con is the opposite of pro, and Progress is good, what is Congress?

2. If you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, put down your video camera and come help me!

3. If you know the average person is stupid, then realize that half are stupider than that!

4. No snowflake in an avalanche feels responsible.

5. Every stink that fights the ventilator thinks it is Don Quixote.

6. What is man, but a minutely set ingenious machine for turning with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?

7. If you see a shark, you don’t have to swim much faster than the shark. You only have to swim faster than the next man !!

8. If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.

9. If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods, then they will surely become worms.

10. If ‘love’ is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
11. If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all their oil under people who hate them?

13. If Michaelangelo had decided not to risk it, then he would have painted the Sistine Floor!

14. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end – I wouldn’t be surprised!

15. If you’ve heard this story, don’t stop me. I like to hear it again.

16. If the English language makes any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

17. If we are not supposed to eat animals, how come they are made out of meat?

18. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

Been There? Seen That?

BEEN THERE?

I wonder if you’ve been there. If you haven’t, I ask you to go there and do that! The thing that I’m asking you to do is to make a sort of pilgrimage to Jayanagar where an institution that goes by the name ‘Model Education Society’, seems to be inculcating the right values to children. Young children are after all  impressionable, and a proper set of values like secularism and respect for all religions must necessarily be inculcated. Some year ago, when I was an atheist, I appreciated the idea that secularism should mean ‘Equal distance from all religions’. But now I know better! I am now venturing to draw inspiration from all religions to modify my character. At least the attempt is sincere, even though I wonder if I will ever succeed. It has been my past experience to fail consistently in whatever I undertake. Well, at least I am consistent!

Coming back to The Model Education Society, it has a wall – more sacred perhaps than the Wailing Wall at Jerusalem.

(Here is a joke on the Wailing Wall - A man meets an old friend after many, many years at the Wailing Wall. After the initial pleasantries, he asks “What brings you here?” The friend says “Actually I’ve been coming here for the past twenty years to regularly offer my prayers.” Quite impressed he asks “What do you pray for?” The friend replies “I keep praying that there has been enough strife between Jews and Muslims, a lot of blood has been shed, and I ask that God help us to live in peace.” The other asks, “Well, how do you feel?” The friend replies “I feel I am talking to a wall!”)

The wall of The Model Education Society (10th Main, 35th Cross, Jayanagar 4th Block, Bangalore) at first struck me as somewhat sacred. It has been decorated with colorful tiles of gods at regular intervals. To begin with, there is a tile of Ganapathi (evidently praying for all obstacles to be removed), a little distance further is a tile depicting the sacred Kaaba, then another tile of Ganapathi to ensure obstacles are kept removed, then a serene picture of Jesus Christ, and then of Virgin Mary, and perhaps Rama, Shiva and so on.

I was thoroughly impressed. A school encouraging all religions! Somehow, something seemed amiss. It was too good to be true. Then it suddenly struck and I had enlightenment. The school had, in fact, pasted those tiles with the ‘divine objective’ of preventing people from pissing on the wall! And in that they had ensured perfect secularism. They ensured people of all religions – Hindus, Muslims, Christians, be covered by their intention. How can one urinate on divine icons?  But I prayed to Ganapathi to remove all obstacles and inhibitions from my mind, as I was feeling the pressure quite intensely, and like a true full blooded Indian, urinated with a clear conscience.

All this seems quite hilarious. Now let’s talk of the serious aspect. We as Indians have to reflect on how callous we have become with respect to social mores and civic sense. I’m sure all of you would have noticed that in the past, the same intention was conveyed by a simple message ‘Please do not urinate’. It is an honest approach that sadly never worked. In other societies that are acutely alive to the feelings and concerns of their neighbors, such messages are not even necessary. The society automatically throws up these values among its citizens. In my travels in the West, I have never ever seen such a message. Sadly, we in India have never reflected on the value of cleanliness, and what is worse, those who have been abroad, never succeed in convincing other Indians about the strong social awareness that Christianity has generated. Inasmuch as most of the West is uniformly clean and neat, and as most of the West was indeed influenced by Christianity, could there perhaps be a connection?  Does Christianity promote social concerns more than Hinduism does? I find it extremely aggravating when I hear Indians - as smug as you can ever get them, (a famous Kannada theatre person)  - tell the Americans in their own home : “What does your country have to offer to our country?”  Indians continuously ignore honest requests and pleadings and you finally see people indulging in such dishonest acts whose consequences are not yet known.

I would like to draw your attention to a film called ‘The Dead Zone’ – a film directed by Kronenberg in which Martin Sheen plays a somewhat secondary role. He had a main role in ‘Apocalypse Now’, but that information is just incidental. The climax of The Dead Zone has the ending where Sheen – the Presidential Candidate in an U.S. Election, snatches an innocent child from the bosom of its mother - a woman who is blind to his defects and would have trusted him, to be used as a shield to shelter him from the deadly bullets of an assassin who has been guided to destroy him. The hero of the film is privy to various evidences provided to the assassin that Sheen is really a devil’s agent!

Are we using God and the idea of divinity for such mercenary purposes like Martin Sheen did in ‘The Dead Zone’?

xxx

JUDGMENT DAY !

JUDGMENT DAY !

The most scary profession one can ever choose is that of a judge. Just imagine! We are all aware, in our heart of hearts, of the various misdemeanors we would have committed. We would have felt lucky in getting away with the act. Yet after a few days, we would have totally forgotten that we had ever done such a thing. And in the course of life, when we hear of a person unfortunate enough to be caught in an act which seems to be a grievous mistake, we hasten to condemn him so uncharitably, that to an eye-in-the-sky it appears rather scary. Just recently I had to 'forgive' a person for a so-called mistake. And I admit that what I wrote didn't seem to come from within me, but it did definitely come into my awareness. This is what I wrote:

In the event that someone may be feeling terribly guilty of certain actions that have unfortunately happened in the past, I wish to present a piece of very valuable advice that I received many years ago, when under similar feelings of self-doubt, I had expressed myself to him in anguish. Wise as that man was, he had said “Don’t you feel guilty about that! When that action had happened, there was an inordinate need for you to act like that, and very likely, anyone else who had identical circumstances, would have perforce acted in an identical way!”

Many times actions happen over which we seem to have little control. Even if the person were never caught, he may never have done a similar thing again! My nephew once asked  “What’s your opinion of Polanski?” I told my nephew some positive things in reply. “But he is a child molester!” my nephew shot back. Then I had to tell him that he is not only that. He is also a talented film director, maybe a father, a husband, a friend, maybe a benefactor to someone; a person, who as a small boy had suffered the trauma of a Nazi taking a random pot-shot in fun at a concentration camp (he had run away in terror). He is so much else! He is perhaps also a child molester – something we are not sure he would have consciously done again (maybe he feels tremendously guilty). So also with Shiney Ahuja and with Anand Jon. He may never have done it if that moment of weakness had passed away quickly. Scary to imagine that they are sentenced to over 60 years in prison. Then again, there are many of us who are moving about, with who knows what actions on our conscience!

Interesting to read Gandhi’s autobiography, where he boldly talks of his many misdeeds. But then, has he revealed all?  For he says quite candidly (in the Introduction to his Autobiography) “…my experiments have not been conducted in the closet, but in the open; and I do not think that this fact detracts from their spiritual value. There are some things which are known only to oneself and one’s Maker. These are clearly incommunicable.” Could there have been many more uncomfortable truths? Just reflect on this. And realize that all is forgiven, for not all that we do, are fully under our control.

WONDER HOW THEY DO IT !

When we realize this, it is really scary that judges have to pronounce verdicts, and often sentence convicts to various periods of imprisonment  - sometimes ranging to several years, totally destroying the life of a person, and sometimes even to death! Yes, it is scary - knowing that each of us, including judges, is positively guilty of some misdemeanor!

xxx

Transparency in Public Life

I joined as a junior Class-I officer in the Govt. of India, (The Geological Survey of India) in 1978 and in thirty years of service got only one promotion. And to clarify matters, I did not miss any promotion! I was not too careful with my money, but was just about adequately wise. I have very, very rarely invested in shares and was not too astute in investments or enterprising in earning a legal income from valid economic activity. I invested in a 60 feet x 40 feet site in Bangalore in 1984 by becoming a member of a housing society, and gradually over a period of a few years, I had paid a total of Rs 80,000 towards the site. My only saving efforts were a regular contribution to the General Provident Fund over thirty years. I wish to state that in spite of being in a low-profile mediocre job, and with not much financial acumen resulting in a feeble economic activity, my fate has rewarded me with total assets much more than that declared by the Chief Justice of India who says he is worth only Rs18 lakhs. This is a shining example of the absolute integrity and honesty that a person holding a public office must have. It is only by extraordinary financial, ethical and moral discipline, and totally transparent honesty that a person holding such a top position can have such modest assets, in contrast to a mediocre officer who is worth much, much more. It should serve as an example to be emulated by the younger generation who are turning cynical at what they perceive as hypocrisy of the elder generation.

xxx

Thoughts about Dr. Doniger's Interview in Outlook

It is interesting to read alternative viewpoints about our epics, and we should be open to insightful ideas and criticisms that scholars of other civilizations may have to make of our own (Indian) civilization, social milieu and other cultural markers. If we become dense and impermeable and refuse to allow fresh breeze to revitalize our society, we may lose a lot and end up as a stale stinking pit - without life and vitality, bound by ropes of social mores that have lost its elasticity.
However, that does not mean that we should refrain from reiterating certain aspects that are likely to be missed out. For example, while the author Dr. Doniger may be correct in criticizing certain aspects of the character of Lord Sri Rama, we should not forget, while reading the criticism, that it demanded a great strength of character, tremendous willingness to undergo physical hardships, strain, and the insecurity he had to face while abandoning the comforts of a royal palace and venturing out into the jungles just for the upliftment of Dharma. He made a great sacrifice for a cause greater than himself. The magnitude of the sacrifice can be grasped if we only consider which modern minister, politician, or leader would be willing to forsake the pleasure of ruling over a dominion. Sri Rama abandoned the throne just as he was about to enjoy the wonderful royal privilege. He did it to ensure that his father did not stray from the path of Dharma, though it caused his father Dasharatha great anguish ultimately resulting in his death. This is a great lesson that we have to learn from this epic, and Sri Rama has provided many other such valuable pointers for good conduct for which he is ardently venerated.
According to Hindu tradition, Sri Rama is a human first, though a divine incarnation. And as a human he is not expected to be perfect as God is supposed to be perfect. He is to have certain imperfections like any human. The tragedy of concentrating on the imperfections is that we may lose sight of the great good qualities with which he was endowed. Yet we must not lose sight of those imperfections, and we must take care to always be very watchful reminding ourselves “I should not be like that”. Well! We may even turn out to be better persons than Sri Rama! Alternatively, it may be quite possible that in Sri Rama’s treatment of Sita there could be great divine principles that we are not aware of as yet.
Just as an aside, I draw an example from Chemistry. A Perfect Gas obeys the mathematical relationship P.V = R.T (P=pressure, V=volume, T= temperature, R=Gas Constant). But in the real world a gas is not perfect- the collisions of the molecules are not perfectly elastic, the molecules occupy space and so on. So the gas equation gets modified to a more complicated (P + a/V^ 2) x (V-b) = R.T.
How much more pretty and simpler an ideal world would have been!

FROM WHERE DO YOU SOURCE YOUR SPEECH ?

Curiously, it is men with a liberal outlook - unfortunately most of whom are atheists - who arrive at the most enlightened set of values for human behavior and conduct. They recognize that these values are spoken by voices from the heart, but unfortunately make valiant efforts to locate it in the head. And in trying to operate from an intellectual standpoint, they deny their heart-felt feelings.

So as I was traveling in a monstrous SUV one day, sitting in the rear, with a friend of mine sitting next to the driver - a close friend of his (a hail-fellow-well-met sort of guy) - the car had to brake to a halt, to allow an infirm old man tottering across the road. So my friend asked the driver "Were you a Marxist?" (Marxism had failed by then). Here we have to remember that basic feelings of consideration and compassion is there in everyone (except perhaps very rare individuals), and one doesn't have to be a Marxist to show such consideration. The dangers of such identification are that you tend to deny the existence of such feelings in persons who do not fit these labels. For example, Marxists may deny such feelings in capitalists; Maoists may deny them in money-lenders; South Indians may deny them in North Indians; Scheduled castes may deny them in Brahmins; Hindus may deny it in Muslims and so on.

Liberals are the ones who generally come up with politically-correct values. The problem is where they source them from. Quite often, a politically-correct statement that a person makes, may strongly conflict with his feelings and you may be able to distinctly discern a disconnect (a feeling that what the other is saying is not really true - not in the absolute sense - but in the sense that the person is saying a thing that he does not really feel!). A thing that he does not really believe! Often, you may find that a hilarious joke made on women just in good humor, evokes a strong reaction quite disproportionate to the sally. I can vouchsafe that I've often detected a disconnect in a person expressing anger in such cases, as though you could sense that he liked it, but restrained himself just in the nick of time, and thankfully (to himself), became angry.

I would like to see a time when people express their heart-felt feelings, express the truth, and then maybe, intensely pray that such feelings change if they intellectually realize that such feelings are wrong. (My friend Mathew may humourously remark - Who would care for what you would like!)  Human interactions would then be more meaningful, warm, honest and consequently more trusting.

xxx



A very interesting TED Talk on the primacy of feelings and its relation to human evolution and further how it impacts on leadership qualities and even its impact on market dynamics is powerfully presented in the TED Talk for which the link is given below: (GIVE SOME TIME AFTER CLICKING ON THE LINK AS IT TAKES ABOUT A MINUTE TO LOAD)

http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html

Deepak